Torchwood Introspection
by HarryWhoFanatic
Summary: A series of Torchwood ficlets. Spoilers for TW seasons 1 & 2 and DW season 3. Better explanation in Chapter One.
1. All Out of Love

Disclaimer: It's quite obvious I don't own Torchwood. If I did, well then I'd be rich and Captain Jack would appear with his shirt off a lot more often. Oh, and Ianto would be immortal too!

AN: Found this challenge on one of my fanfic haunts. It sounded like fun so I thought I'd give it a go. The object was to pick a fandom and, with your music on shuffle, write a short fic based off of each song. You only had until the end of the song to finish it. This is a collection of all my Torchwood responses. Planned 10 in all, but there might be more as I really enjoyed writing these.

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**Song: All Out of Love **

**Artist: John Barrowman **

_Takes Place between Sound of Drums and LOTL_

Jack swayed in his chains, staring up at the automatic clock ticking away above his head, the sound of the Valiant's engines groaning around him. Closing his eyes he leaned his head back, absently tugging on his chains, struggling in vain to shift into a more comfortable position. It had been a long day. Death by electrocution was never a fun way to go as far as he was concerned. Dying was never fun, but that was besides the point.

Sighing he gave up trying to get comfortable and instead turned his thoughts inward. Instantly the image of Ianto; sharply pressed suit clinging to his athletic form, light blue eyes staring up at him, lips twisted in that adorable wry smile he loved to kiss… Ianto, his beautiful Ianto. How could he have been so foolish as to leave? He hadn't been thinking clearly, the excitement at _finally_ finding the Doctor again had made him temporarily abandon his senses. Cursing himself for three times the idiot Jack shook his head forcefully and gazed back up at the clock, blinking rapidly against the tears that stung his eyes. It didn't matter now. The Year was almost over. The Doctor would set things right, would stop the Master. Then he could go home. He didn't know how the younger man would take his return but he had to at least try to win him back. He knew now what he had refused to acknowledge before, knew now what it was he felt for the younger man…he'd been wrong to leave the way he did. It couldn't be too late to go back and fix it though. He'd apologize, explain how wrong he'd been, how sorry he was, and _beg _Ianto to take him back if that's what it took. So long as he got him back. He was so lost without him….

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AN: Please tell me what you thought! I did this on a lark and am not sure how it came out to be honest….


	2. Begin the Beguine

Disclaimer: Sadly, I won't ever own Torchwood. And I'm unemployed so please don't sue me!

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**Song: Begin the Beguine,**

**Album: De-Lovely Soundtrack**

_(Post End of Days)_

Ianto sat at the bar, nursing his second beer of the night. He didn't know what had possessed him to come here of all places. He'd left the Hub at closing time with no particular destination in mind, just knowing that he couldn't stay there on his own for another minute. And his flat was just as empty. Jack had liked this bar, had even taken him here once. Not that they dated, oh no, theirs was a relationship of convenience. At least, that's what he thought it had been. But somewhere between rounds of naked hide and seek and experimenting with stopwatches he'd fallen in love with his Captain. And what had it gotten him? His already broken heart ripped further apart, crushed into dust beneath the heels of his Captain's boots. Jack was gone, had been gone for months, and in all likelihood wasn't coming back. It had been worth it though. He'd known going into that arrangement with Jack what was likely to happen. After all, how could you _not _fall in love with Captain Jack Harkness? It was as inevitable as this, him sitting here nursing his broken heart with alcohol. He wouldn't take back the brief time he'd had with his Captain for anything. He just wished he'd known how close the end was. He'd have liked to kiss Jack goodbye at least one more time.

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AN: Hopefully that wasn't too bad... but reviews telling me how I can improve would be nice. Pretty please?


	3. It Sucks To Be Me

Disclaimer: This warning shall go for all future chapters. I still don't own Torchwood. At some point maybe I'll come to terms with that.

AN: Right… I know in the rules of this challenge we only had until the song finished to complete the ficlet. I might possibly have cheated a tad with this chapter. Just a little bit. It's just, I heard the song come on, and I _saw_ the scene in my head, and Owen's dialogue tripped me up for a few crucial seconds. Still, hopefully it's okay. Read and let me know please!

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**Song: What do you do with a B.A. in English/It Sucks to be Me**

**Album: Avenue Q Original Cast Recording**

_(Sometime during Season Two)_

Owen groaned loudly as he collapsed onto the couch in the Hub. Today had been one of those days.

"Owen?" Tosh's worried sounding voice echoed in his pounding head.

"Yeah Tosh?" He asked not bothering to open his eyes.

"Are you alright? You look-"

"Like shit?" Owen drawled dryly, shifting on the couch so she could sit beside him. "Good, then I look exactly how I feel."

"Ah, having one of _those _days are we?"

"Yes! God it sucks to be me."

"Oh, no it doesn't!"

"Yes it does Tosh. Believe me it does. Jack has me working all hours, nearly got taken out by that Weevil last night, I got carded at the pub I went to, some idiot keyed my car, I woke up with a raging hangover this morning, _and_ I just had to clean some suspicious looking stains off my autopsy table."

"Oh, that's not so bad." Tosh said with a laugh.

"What's not so bad?" Gwen queried cheerily, tossing a stack of files down onto her desk and walking over to join them.

"Owen says it sucks to be him, I was telling him he's wrong." Tosh explained.

"Oh, please, his problems can't be _that _bad. Mine are worse." Gwen moaned. "Last night, first night I've gotten home all night, Rhys decides to-"

"Yeah, Gwen, _we don't care_," Owen interrupted. Gwen scowled at him.

"What about you Tosh?" She asked instead.

"What about me?"

"Do you think it sucks to be you?"

"Oh, well I used to. But then I was thinking…you know, it really sucks to be Ianto actually."

Owen snorted. "It sucks to be the teaboy? Hell, he's got it easy! All he has to do is make coffee and snog the boss. How hard can that be?"

"Actually, he does a lot more than that Owen," Tosh retorted. "Take yesterday for instance. He had to clean out the SUV, because of that one alien that exploded, you remember? Apparently getting the guts of that species of alien off the upholstery takes some scrubbing. Then he had to dispose of the body, help us catch that one Weevil by the docks, feed the Weevils, clean out Myfanwy's nest-" Tosh paused for breath. "And that was all before lunch."

"Yeah, but Tosh, like I said, that's his _job_."

"He also had to babysit Jack last night." She paused for dramatic emphasis. "_After_ Jack got his hands on that alien aphrodisiac we confiscated from the perfume shop across the street." In unison they all winced and glanced over their shoulders at Ianto, who was walking stiffly up to Jack's office, clipboard in hand.

"Yeah, okay, he wins." Owen agreed.

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AN: Please review!


	4. A Girl Like You

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AN: Chapter Four of this story, met all the requirements of the challenge this time! Hope it's alright…please read and tell me what you thought. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter and have added me to all their lists- truly made my day!

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**Song: A Girl Like You**

**Artist: Edwyn Collins **

_(During Out of Time)_

Owen stared openly as Diane walked towards him in the red dress he'd bought her. He'd never known anyone like her. She was nothing like the girls he used to date, back when he did that sort of thing, or even the girls he'd taken to picking up at the pub every night. She was intelligent, beautiful-oh, the way she just twirled, the skirt such a bright red flaring around her legs. For some reason that gesture reminded him of the way she felt in his arms last night. She scared the shit out of him. What was he doing? How could he be feeling this? What was he feeling? He should stop, he should really stop, he had to think he had to- he had to dance with her. Plenty of time to think later, what he really had to do was make her smile at him that way again.

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AN: Please review! I won't know how I can improve if you don't tell me.


	5. Stay

An: Right, I'm really not sure about this chapter. I've pictured a scene similar to this one several times in my head, but it just didn't quite come out right. I'd love to go back and edit it, make it longer, but then it wouldn't be keeping with the challenge rules so…what do you think?

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**Song: Stay **

**Artist: Emmy Rossum **

_(Immediately after Countrycide)_

Ianto stood under the violent spray of the Hub showers, shaking with cold despite the pulsing heat. His body ached with the pain, it was so marred with bruises. His neck felt like it was on fire from where that cleaver had been held to his throat. His legs were shaking so bad, he didn't think he could stand much longer-

"Whoa, easy now," a loud voice behind him exclaimed. Just as he started to fall a pair of warm arms wrapped around him and pulled him up. It was Jack. "Shh, easy I've got you." Ianto shuddered, forcing his thoughts away from the haunting memories, brought back to reality by the warmth radiating from his Captain. Despite himself he leaned in closer.

"I'm sorry Sir," he whispered, voice hoarse from screaming. "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, just let me go, I'll go home." For some reason he couldn't seem to get his body to move. Instead he found himself clinging closer to Jack. Jack, as if sensing Ianto's inner reluctance, reached around him and turned off the tap.

"Shh, it's alright. Stay here the night, stay with me," Jack urged, leading Ianto around the partition towards where the towels were kept. "Don't worry, it's alright, you can stay." Ianto nodded weakly. "Come on, let's get you dressed- now there's not something I ever thought I'd say."

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AN: Please review!


	6. Far Away

AN: For once in my life, I actually rather like a chapter I've written. I adore this song and it's what I picture every time I hear it, I was so glad it came on my playlist for this challenge. Hopefully it's alright.

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**Song: Far Away**

**Artist: Nickleback**

_(Roof scene in Greeks Bearing Gifts)_

Jack stared out over the rooftops of Cardiff, his greatcoat dramatically swirling out behind him in the wind. He didn't see any of it, the cars zooming along below, the people racing along with their ordinary lives. He was so proud of his city. But tonight, staring up at the sky, the place he'd called home for the past 150 years barely registered on his mind. Those stars beckoned to him, they seemed to be calling out to him. _Jack, Jack, Jack_ they seemed to call. Since he'd become immortal he didn't need to sleep, but sometimes he did. Last night he had and the dreams had come. The memories, of a man in a black leather jacket, a girl with a smile on her face, and a blue box zooming through time and space. He'd awoken with a gasp just as he did when he came back to life. Perhaps in a way the return to reality was in itself a sort of death. They were so far away from him now. He needed to find them, needed to find out why…

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AN: Please review!


	7. Too Much in Love to Care

AN: This has got to be the fluffiest thing I have ever written before in my life. It wasn't planned, just came out that way...a part of me wants to edit it drastically. However, that'd be breaking the challenge rules _and_ the little fangirl voice in my head won't stop going 'Awwww'. So yeah... hope it's okay...

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**Song: Too Much In Love To Care**

**Artist(s): Sarah Brightman and John Barrowman**

_(Anytime_ _during Season Two)_

Ianto lay in the circle of Jack's arms, smiling up at his lover. "What are you thinking?" Jack whispered in his ear, running his finger's through Ianto's hair.

"That I'm dreaming," Ianto mumbled sleepily, tongue loosened by the peace pervading the moment. "That you're a dream- one that I should probably wake up from." He felt Jack's hand still in his hair. "Not that I want to," he added quickly. Jack sighed and resumed his stroking.

"You probably should," he agreed quietly after a moment. "But I can't help but hope you never do. What I feel for you- it overpowers me. That should worry me. But I can't bring myself to care so long as you're right there."

"The feelings mutual," Ianto whispered back. Jack smiled at him fondly, a wry chuckle escaping him.

"What we're doing is crazy, you know that?"

"Oh absolutely," Ianto drawled.

"But I still, wouldn't change it for the world." Jack sighed, echoing his words from earlier.

"Me neither," Ianto agreed, snuggling closer to Jack. "I had everything once and then it was taken away from me. Looking at you… I think I've found my everything again." Jack swooped down and kissed him fiercely.

"So have I, Jones, Ianto Jones," he gasped when they came up for air. "So have I."

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AN: Please review! Pretty please with Jack/Ianto on top?


	8. She Wants You

AN: Apologies if the last bit of dialogue isn't 100 accurate- I can't find a transcript for this episode anywhere so I'm going off of what I _think_ he said...hope it's alright...

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**Song: She Wants You**

**Artist: Billie Piper**

_(During Something Borrowed)_

Ianto frowned from his vantage point at the DJ booth as he watched Jack dance with Gwen. _For gods sake man, she's married now!_ He thought. Shaking his head he programmed the next couple of songs in, so that it could play without his direct supervision. _Time to cut in, _he thought. Oh, he knew that Jack wouldn't make a move on her, not now that she was married (although that hadn't stopped him in the past) and he'd so obviously chosen Ianto. Still, that didn't mean Gwen wouldn't be tempted to make a move on _him._ He knew that in a way Jack loved both of them. He also knew that while Gwen had chosen Rhys, she wanted Jack too. He could tell from the way she looked at their Captain, adoration shining in her big brown eyes. Best to remind her of his presence, remind them both that they'd made their choices. _And not a moment to soon_, he observed, as they began to stare deep into each others eyes.

"_Ahem, may I cut in?_" He queried.

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AN: Please review!


	9. Last Night of the World

AN: Wow, another ficlet I actually completed within the limitations of the challenge rules. This one is my favorite yet, I'm actually proud of it.

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**Song: Last Night of the World**

**Album: Miss Saigon, Original London Cast Recording**

Captain Jack Harkness danced in the arms of Captain James Harper, holding him close, relishing in the feel of the other man pressed tight against him. He was in love. It didn't matter that he'd only met the other man earlier that very night. He knew what he felt. Together they swayed in a slow moving circle, holding on tight, the sound of raining bombs still ringing in their ears. He hadn't known that love would be like this. That it would take him over so fast or so completely. A part of him couldn't believe that this was happening, that this wonderful man had happened to him. Oh, he was aware of the stares they were receiving. And no doubt he'd pay for it later. Right now he couldn't care. James was right, he should live every night as if it was his last. And if this did turn out to be his last he would never regret it. Looking down into those deep blue eyes he knew that whatever tomorrow brought, this night had been worth it.

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AN: Please review. What did you think of it?


	10. Being Alive

AN: Well, this is it. This is the last chapter I have prewritten for this challenge. I dared myself to write 10 for this fandom and 10 for Doctor Who, and I've done it. Thank you to everyone for reading this and reviewing-I've never had a more popular story, I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Would you all like more or should I stop now?

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**Song: Being Alive**

**Artist: John Barrowman**

_(During Day in the Death)_

Owen landed in the water of the Bay with a gigantic splash, falling and falling down into the depths. He didn't bother pretending to hold the breath he no longer had. He let the water drag him down, desperately tried to let everything go. It made no difference. He was dead but he was _still here_. He would never physically feel anything again. What was the point of it all? Why him? He screamed out his frustration, his throat muscles instinctively choking on the water pouring into his mouth for an instant before relaxing at the lack of threat. This wasn't fair. No one could possibly understand. Jack knew what it was to die but he always came back. He would never truly come back. He would remain like this for as long as it took for him to completely die. It wasn't fair! All he wanted was to live, to feel someone hold him, to eat, to sleep, to snog somebody-anybody! All he wanted to do was live. And he never would again.

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AN: Please review, was this any good?


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